Some day I hope to be rich enough to love Burgundy...

Not that I don't love Burgundy now it's just hard to love something that you can't afford to drink on a regular basis. Paula Poundstone (one of my favorite comedians) used to have a great one liner where she would say, "One day, I hope to be rich enough to be a Republican." That's kind of how I feel about Burgundy. In a way it goes against everything that I believe wine should be. It's expensive, pretentious and can be difficult to come by. I like my wine inexpensive and accessible. Everyday drinking kind of stuff. But this is also a reflection of my current economic standing. I am in the $10-$15 a bottle wine bracket.

I'm fascinated by Burgundy though. One cannot argue that the wines can be absolutely sublime. The region itself is steeped in history with wine being produced in the area since the Romans. The Benedictine monks introduced Chardonnay and Pinot Noir to the area and began delineating the vineyard system that exists their today. Honestly, monks= awesome. We really would be at a loss for great booze if all those guys hadn't been bored out of their minds so many centuries ago.

But I digress, Burgundy is pretty darn interesting. It is so simple with only two varietals being grown there, Pinot Noir and Chardonnay. And yet it is one of the most difficult regions to understand with so many vineyards and so many winemakers who own parcels of said vineyards. You have, for example, Clos Vougoet a vineyard set up by monks in the 11th century. In the centuries since it was walled off the vineyard has gone through several owners, been split between different heirs, passed on and then split again and finally today has more than 80 different owners! The vineyard is around 120 acres and is actually one of the largest of the Grand Cru vineyards but it has been divided up amongst all these different producers who then each make their own particular Clos Vougoet. And the wines are all very clearly called Clos Vougeot, the vineyard is the star here not the producer (Very different from what we do here in California.) Just a little thing to remember next time you have a nice Burgundy you like- find the producers name, don't just make a note of the name of the wine itself as their may be 80 different wines by the same name.

But anyways, this is just the tip of the crazy Burgundy iceberg here. It's intensely fascinating and I hope to one day be able to really dive in to it. Sure, I can read about it, I can probably taste more of these wines than the average non-wine lady, but I can't really get into a full on study of Burgundy because I'm poor. Your average Clos Vougeot is over $100 a bottle so to do any kind of tasting comparison you've got to have some cash. That's okay though, I'll save that for later in life. For now, I should be and I am content to drink Burgundy's offering to the regular folk- The Bourgogne Rouge. In Burgundy wines are priced according to the specificity of their location. Par example a Red Burgundy is cheapest if the label just says Bourgogne Rouge (red Burgundy) more expensive if it is narrowed down to an area in Burgundy, say Cotes de Beaune, even more expensive if it is narrowed down to a specific village within the area, say Pommard and then more expensive still if it is narrowed down to one specific vineyard within the village, say Clos des Charmots.

The Bourgogne Rouge is the everyday Burgundy. They still fall more in the $20 to $30 range but they offer a glimpse of what one may have to look forward to in life. One of the best of these I have tried of late is the Domaine Philippe Gavignet 2008 Bourgogne Rouge. Gavignet is located in Nuits-St. Georges a village at the heart of Burgundy formerly known as Nuits (until they added the hyphenate- the name of their most famous vineyard.) Tasting this wine one can only imagine what his higher end village and vineyard wines must be like. This is Bourgogne Rouge at its best, accessible and delicious. A bouquet of cranberry, cola and rose petals leading into a silky palate with more red fruit and delicate notes of earth. It is light in body, yet quite complex and tastes of the promise of something more. The promise of the days when one can invite over some friends for dinner and say, "hey, tonight we are going to taste through several vintages of wines from a specific vineyard in Burgundy just for sh*ts and giggles. Because we're rich." *wipes off monocle with handkerchief, straightens top hat, lights cigar with hundred dollar bill*

Don't you tell me it's perfectly normal and natural!

I'll get into my background later and a bit into how I found myself in my current position. But, for the moment I need this as a place to vent. As a place where I can say the things that I just can't say to customers. For I am of the school of bite your tongue, nod and smile. Don't anger the scary customers any further. Allow them to say their piece, void something off their check and move on to happier friendlier tables.

On one of my first nights as sommelier at the restaurant (which will remain anonymous) I was called to a table by a server. One of the customers found some sediment in their glass of wine and wanted to talk to the sommelier. Easy enough, I thought.

Now, the wine in question throws some serious sediment- That is just a plain fact. Domaine des Roches Neuves Saumur-Champigny 2009 (pictured) is %100 Cabernet Franc farmed biodynamically and bottled unfined and unfiltered. Fining and filtering are two very different processes that are generally used to remove little bits of stuff from the wine. They are also two processes that some winemakers feel may hurt the wine and compromise its true expression. I'm simplifying this all greatly of course. In the case of Roches Neuves, the wines are very clearly more expressive and intriguing, but yeah, there's some sediment. The 2009 Saumur-Champigny from rock star producer Thierry Germain is a beautiful straight-forward Cab Franc with meaty red fruit and stoney minerality. The deliciousness of the wine wasn't the problem though, they had drunk it all up. But what was left was apparently too offensive for their delicate sensibilities.

I approached the table with a big grin on my face and addressed the empty glass with sediment guiltily loitering in the bottom. "Yes, that is just sediment, it is perfectly normal and natural." At once I felt I was transported in to the wedding scene of "The Graduate." You know, where Dustin Hoffman is banging on the glass and the film goes silent but all you can see are the wedding party's teeth gnashing and their old, grimaced faces spitting angrily.

"Don't you tell me it's perfectly normal and natural!" screamed the Dragon Lady.

I buckled immediately, these were not people you reasoned with.

Me: "Yes, I'm so sorry, I will take it off your bill."

DL: "If you're going to be charging these kinds of prices, you should be serving better wine."

Me: "It's a very nice wine ma'am. Sediment is just something that happens in wine."

DL: "Not in good wine."

Me: *sigh* "I'll take it off your bill, I apologize."

DL: "I've been drinking wine for 70 years and I've never seen anything like this before."

Now, after a statement like that, I am reminded of one of my favorite MAD Magazine staples, "Snappy Answers To Stupid Questions." Some responses that came to mind:

"Really? I always thought Franzia was boxed unfined and unfiltered."

or

"Wow, you're really f*&%ing old."

or, the more poignant, dramatic approach.

"I pity you."

Because, I really did. It's sad to me when someone doesn't understand how amazing wine is- that it's a living thing, that the same wine can taste differently from one bottle to the next, that it can throw sediment. But, it was obvious to me that this woman's father had been killed in a horrible wine sediment related accident so I just bowed away from the table and went along my merry way. First stop the bar to pour myself a little delicious sip of Domaine des Roches Neuves Saumur-Champigny to take the edge off and remember why I'm here.